Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Esoterica: The Commission

I am currently subjecting myself to a translation internship at the European Commission in Brussels where I am learning invaluable life lessons such as the exact nature of 'flexitime'. As in Einstein's spacetime, time is relative in this amazing policy and you work whenever the fuck you want as long as you average 7.5 hrs a day. I asked a member of staff when I should turn up at the office and he replied, without cracking a smile, 'we have flexitime'. Mmmmm flekshitaaaimmmmee, yowp, mwap (insider joke)! This suits me down to the ground. Secondly, I now know the ins and outs of the EU's counter terrorist financing (CFT) activity in the framework of the fight against terrorism: this involves the promotion of democratic values in non-EU member states. Yup, that should do it. This, incidentally makes me feel like I am Jack Bauer working for CTU in the series 24. The flexitime thing only enhances this illusion, as I'm sure he must have that as well. He does seem to be on the job quite a bit of the day though. I'll have to get back to you on that one.
Having flogged that donkey to within an inch of its life, I can now divulge the crucial tenet, the final pillar of the three in this unshakeable knowledge framework I have developed: never work in an office. Instead, play wonderful jazz versions of old folk tunes like this guy, invent a really rather cool percussion instrument like this guy, or just be a squid like this guy.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home