Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Search

When I was a kid on a skateboard, I always strove to be free. That was the aim actually: I thought, if I can kickflip up the pavement in front of my house then that was it - the first step to freedom. But you need to be good, you need discipline, you need mastery to achieve it. 
And it's the same with music, with art, literature, with travel, with perhaps drugs: you need to be good at them for them to take you down their path, and for you to reach it. Reach what? 
I don't know, I'm not good enough. But if you follow these paths with enough discipline maybe you will "know how it feels to be free".
Am I failing at that? 
And these art forms they require many of the same things, the get up and go, the discipline, the vision, the courage, the strength, and the skill, to get there. 
 All I know was for me many of those guys were like gods, the amazing skaters from back in the day: Robbie Berg and Paul Rogers. 

I just woke up from a dream, a really nice dream where I was at a party with all the friends from Luxembourg... We played music, some blues and everyone who could got involved with a kazoo, a guy with the bongos, many others too, it was a good sound. Hannah Deasy was there and I said "hi Hannah", and she launched into something irrelevant, and I realised I missed her. 
Keyan had to leave early but he was ready despite the hangover, he goes, "now the day can begin". He said goodbye to Luan Oliveira who said, "better than leaving with the daisies unpushed" as a carpe diem. Yes you need to bring out the colour in your life while you can. 
Am I failing at this so far?
And I realised that dreams are what you bring to them, you can come in with a mind-state of fun, of harmony, and you will end up at this house party with your friends. Or the little white demon floating in a corner of all of us - which was the image that came to me, white and twisted as if diseased - can carry the day and he will take you wherever it is that he goes. 
Those are two options but there is also a third path: how many deviate from the path on their search, go off the rails, especially with alcohol. So you realise the key in all of those virtues i mentioned before is really just one: discipline. 
I went into the bathroom and saw the lights from paulista, and the enchanted atmosphere lingered on. 

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